Paramount is bringing the original Star Trek back into syndication, and to celebrate the occasion they're slapping on a new coat of paint:

Many of the series' beloved yet decidedly dated visual staples, from the galaxy glimpsed in the opening title sequence to the myriad otherworldly landscapes seen from the bridge of the starship Enterprise, will receive a CGI makeover to appeal to the sons and daughters of 1960s-era Star Trek fans who actually found someone to mate with...

Battle sequences, ship exteriors, galaxy shots and landscapes (which previously came courtesy of matte paintings) will be given more shading, depth and computer-generated believability.

Is that all? Today's youth can't relate to all that hippie '60s crap, so Paramount shouldn't stop at just making Kirk's phaser look a little less gay. Here are some more extensive updates they should CGI in, just off the top of my head. (All episode numbers, titles, and descriptions are based on my extensive knowledge of Trek history and are therefore completely accurate.)

• Ep. 42, "I Got Your Tribbles Right Here": In the legendary "Phasercaust" sequence, Spock now folds his arms and refuses to scan the enemy vessel for weapons until he's been added to Kirk's Top 8.
• Ep. 16, "Problaxicon IV Girls Are Easy": When Empress Darulla puts the moves on Kirk to distract him while her guards take control of the ship, his line is changed from "I'll bet you say that to all the Earthmen" to "Lean wit it! Rock wit it! Lean wit it! Rock wit it!"
• Ep. 27, "Klingon for All You're Worth": In accordance with Gene Roddenberry's dying wish, Sulu's pleather vest is now a slightly lighter shade of lavender to match his assless chaps.
• Ep. 50, "Space Is Awesome": Instead of bidding farewell to the exotically beautiful Saronia by kissing her tenderly on the forehead-nose, Kirk orders Scotty and Bones to hold her down while he gives her a "Romulan Steamer."
• Ep. 2, "The One with the Big Party": The banquet thrown by the colonists of Zadulus VII to thank Scotty for repairing their water-desalination unit now includes a cameo by a visibly drunken Joe Francis, who convinces Uhura to "show me whatcha got, hot chocolate."
• Ep. 77, "Just 10 Short Years Until the Movie": In the powerful final episode of the series, as Spock is packing his belongings for his trip home to become mayor of Vulcanapolis, Kirk enters Spock's quarters clad not in his traditional yellow tunic and black pants, but in nothing at all. Ohhhh yeah.